Royal Purple

Issue date: 3/5/08 Section: Lifestyle

Naumann [Click to enlarge]

Dear Abi,

I am single and am very quiet outside of my close group of friends. I would love to approach or look more approachable to cute boys. How should I open up?

Shy Sharon


Shy Sharon,

Although surviving the social scene may seem about as challenging as a trek through the Amazon, I promise-you'll make it out alive. The truth is that we are all college students and are pretty much on the same boat.

No one likes approaching strangers. Just because we've gained a few inches and perhaps some intelligence since awkward eight-grade dances doesn't mean we've also gained the confidence to approach someone we're interested in. Oh no, honey.

But, there is hope for you. Here's the secret-most people you are interested in most likely reciprocate your interest, however just like you they are too shy to make the first move.

This leaves you with a spectrum of options. For the beginner, I recommend establishing your sense of confidence and making yourself more approachable. For the novice, put that charm to the test and make the first move yourself.

We'll start with the beginner. When you go out, leave your problems at the door. Forget about the essay question you missed on your exam, and allow yourself to have a good time. Smiling, laughing and having fun are all very attractive things. Added bonus: it's not too difficult to be genuine about it either. Pretty easy; by having fun - you've already increased you chances of being approached.

But if you're feeling a little gutsier than that, don't be afraid to make the first move. Take a deep breath, and put that confidence to the test.

Being yourself may seem simple, but the task is loaded. When you're meeting someone for the first time, striking a conversation can be difficult, but rest assured you've got this one in the bag. Talk about common interests. If you have no common interests, and nothing to talk about, move on darlin, there are more fish in the sea.

Moral of the story: by taking initiative, you have already overcome your timid troubles, and can consider it a mission accomplished, no matter what the outcome.

Best of luck,
Abi

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